Divorce has always been considered a taboo in the sub-continent. However, divorces have become much more common today and more Pakistanis have become aware and accepting of the fact that divorce is an option that can be used when things are not working out.

The problems that partners of a challenged marriage face were discussed on Aaj Pakistan with Sidra Iqbal, Friday.

The Constitution of Pakistan and Islam as a religion grant couples the right to divorce. Some people prefer to take the legal route but we have seen in a few recent celebrity cases, there are also those who have a very public undoing. Social pressure to conform or behave in certain ways while going through a divorce, incessant blame game between the separating couple, domestic abuse and family conflicts add to the misery that divorce can bring.

“Divorce is something that is not considered good in Islam but the religion still allows it,” legal expert and lawyer, Khawaja Naveed, said. “In our society when a woman files for khula our legal system asks the couple for reconciliation efforts before the actual legal proceedings are done.”

The partners then develop stubborn egos; both of them wait for the other person to initiate proceedings. The expectations set by the media and society have contributed to making reconciliation difficult.

“The process of divorce is a stressful situation in itself. Both members have to face not only an emotional crisis but societal pressure as well,” said psychologist Mehwish Dawood.

Children from divorced families face challenges in the aftermath of their parents separation but many people argue that sometimes it is better for there to be a divorce than constant daily stress of parents fighting.

When both partners are working and financially independent, the division of responsibilities becomes a matter of conflict.

In a patriarchal society women are expected to look over the family and children, household chores etc. while the men are only expected to earn for the family.

“These concepts need to be revisited,” said Khawaja Naveed. “Love and disagreements can go together.” Instead of listening to understand each other’s perspective, people only listen to get more ammunition to attack their partner. The real issue remains unresolved.

The new generation who is much more aware and believe in a modern family system which contradicts the joint family system, culture and traditions that have been practiced for decades. This often becomes a reason for conflicts between new couples as they do not get the privacy they need, and are expected to take permission from elders for small things.

Support from family and friends is key, when someone is trying to cope after a breakup or divorce. To avoid depression, the reality must be accepted. The person must understand overworking and trying to distract ones self is suppressing emotions, which is not considered healthy, he she must grieve in order to move on.

Society stereotypes divorcees, so, people tend to stay in toxic relationships instead of ending them. In the past the woman was blamed for a failed marriage, but today the blame has shifted to men.

Marriage is a beautiful institution that offers people companionship, however, like every good thing in life it requires hard work and investment to succeed.