Writer: Anjum Ibrahim

"Have you heard the song three times a lady..."

"Yeah it's by Lionel Richie, Nicole Richie's talented dad..."

"So is Nicole, talented I mean, isn't she?"

"Well she made her mark in reality TV with another socialite Paris Hilton and the two would do and say outlandish things to average income families and believe it or not that had very high ratings."

"That requires talent too you know, maybe not as much as composing and singing songs but to capture the attention of an entire nation requires some talent, and need I add the two socialites made big bucks for themselves while doing reality TV shows.

But I digress, the reason why I recalled Richie's song three times a lady was because Tahirul Qadri's filing of a disqualification reference against Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif makes it the third one - the other two were filed by the Khan's PTI and Bilawal Bhutto's PPP."

"In this country it would be referred to as a hat-trick."

"Hmmm right, we are a nation that loves cricket, but sadly no politician is willing to play cricket in real life."

"I don't get."

"To follow rules, and adhere to regulations and...."

"Ah yes Mugabe of Zimbabwe stated: cricket civilises people and creates good gentlemen. I want everyone to play cricket in Zimbabwe; I want ours to be a nation of gentlemen."

"Indeed but John Fowles, the guy who wrote the French Lieutenant's Woman stated that baseball and cricket are beautiful and highly stylised medieval war substitutes, chess made flesh, a mixture of proud chivalry and base - in both senses - greed."

"Greed hunh! Let Mian sahib's attack team zero in on this quote I reckon. But I am one with the views of the famous English playwright George Bernard Shaw who said baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being ended sooner".

"In his day there was no T-20 I guess and to counter Shaw I would like to quote the recently deceased actor Robin Williams who committed suicide: cricket is basically baseball on valium".

"That's a good one however let me take this opportunity to draw the attention of the Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) to a quote by Oscar Wilde: it (cricket) requires one to assume such indecent postures."

"Why in the world are you drawing their attention to this quote? Is it because you want to ban the game in this country (incidentally that's our only source of entertainment these days) or do you reckon the CII ruling would lead to its dissolution as no one in this country is going to give up on cricket?"

"See its heads I win, tails you lose and those are the odds I like." Cricket is basically baseball on valium. -Business Recorder