"I am no apologist for the Sharif family..."

"But..."

"What do you mean but? Oh did you mean Butt as in a Kashmiri and not in the rear end."

"Don't be facetious."

"You know I never thought of it that way....that a popular Kashmiri last name means the rear end in the English language. Do you reckon that there is some kind of intent in this, I mean how dare the decadent English..."

"Hmmm, reminds me of the Indians - they have taken strong exception to Amazon selling Indian flag doormats and Mahtama Gandhi flip flops (chappal) and the Indian government's reaction led to Amazon expressing regret for offending the Indians and..."

"Hey, I just got a great idea. Why don't our politicians use products to denigrate each other!? I mean that way our airwaves would not be inundated with anti-government sentiments followed by pro-government sentiments ad infinitum and..."

"Well, at present, its anti-First Family (father, daughter and sons) and pro-First Family and for the life of me I refuse to believe that the First Family has shared a single document, and I must emphasize this, a single document with their Daily Defenders (DDs) and to me it's a measure of power in our country that there is an entire line of loyalists who would be honoured to be appointed as a DD and..."

"Hey, if documentary proof is a prerequisite for a DD then what's the point? I mean if I have proof of my not being guilty as accused then I don't need any DDs if you know what I mean."

"I see, so the point is to get them to blindly defend you and..."

"Blind is good."

"But the voters..."

"Our literacy rate is very low! And thank the Lord, voters remain committed to parties whether they deliver or not and..."

"But city voters are changing - how many seats did Zardari sahib win from cities after his five years?"

"Ah, but Mian sahib doesn't compare himself with Zardari sahib, his reputation for corruption..."

"OK, but Surreygate trumps the Panamagate."

"And then there is Trump."

"Indeed."

-Business Recorder