"I miss those two guys."

"I wasn't aware that any of your friends or relatives relocated recently."

"No, they are not friends or relatives, but the two guys I am referring to provided me a daily dose of mirth and now all I see is every politician frothing at the mouth hurling insults and accusations against each other."

"Who ever do you mean? All parties have lifetime leaders and they require absolute loyalty..."

"Hey, if that is true then what about the lotas (turncoats) and mind I do take exception to using the word lota for turncoat - I mean lota is a water receptacle used in the bathroom, a critical implement during times when there is no water..."

"And during times when there is water."

"OK, but I would urge you to desist from talking about bodily functions as that is simply not done in polite society; you and I maybe without any influence hoping to lead our lives without any interaction with those with influence but we are polite."

"I heard those with influence now send a legal notice to polite people like you, torture is out these days."

"Well, anyway, going back to the two guys I miss they are Qaim Ali Shah and Parveen Rashid."

"I can feel another notice coming your way, please set your keyboard straight - and begin to use the letter z, it is Parvez Rashid, and I think his return to the ranks of a federal minister is imminent which explains why Maryam Aurangzeb had an older relative circle six eggs around her head, a traditional form of blessing to avert bad things happening and the only bad thing that can happen to her is Parvez Rashid."

"Ha ha ha and where is Qaim Ali Shah? OK, he liked protocol but you know it was fun to count the number of cars following his entourage and the great food that was prepared in his honour when he went to visit areas suffering from famine and his falling asleep at meetings, reminiscent of Ronald Reagan..."

"Reagan was not a bad president for the US and I would urge Zardari sahib to consider appointing Qaim Ali Shah as his President or Prime Minister in the unlikely event that the party wins."

"Hey, Murad Ali Shah's moustache twitches when he defends an action directed by Asif Zardari, and Qaim Ali Shah's moustache never twitched, his tongue on occasion may have..."

"Don't be facetious, remember a notice may come your way and no one is going to take your case without money!"-Business Recorder